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 Posted:   Mar 6, 2021 - 8:44 AM   
 By:   Mark R. Y.   (Member)

Where did the walrus from Alabama go to see a dentist?

Tuscaloosa.

 
 Posted:   Mar 26, 2021 - 4:34 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a haircut and shave.
He tells the barber that he can’t shave off all his whiskers because his cheeks are so wrinkled.
The barber gives him a small wooden ball and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread the skin.
The old fella is amazed at how well it works!
He says, “That's the cleanest shave I've had in nigh on to thirty years! So, what would I do if’n I accidentally swallered that ball?”
“No problem”, the barber says. “You could’ve just brought it back in a couple of days just like everybody else does.”

 
 Posted:   Mar 26, 2021 - 6:13 AM   
 By:   Jehannum   (Member)

Warning: adult-rated, probably offensive etc.

Did you know that 85 percent of men don't know how to turn on a dishwasher? I find that sucking nipples and playing with the clitoris usually does the trick.

 
 
 Posted:   Mar 26, 2021 - 6:51 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Warning: adult-rated, probably offensive etc.

Did you know that 85 percent of men don't know how to turn on a dishwasher? I find that sucking nipples and playing with the clitoris usually does the trick.


My mum said it's doesn't work, not any more. big grin

 
 
 Posted:   Mar 26, 2021 - 6:57 AM   
 By:   Charlie Chan   (Member)


Food is the best medicine - it really is.
Scoff all you like.

 
 Posted:   Mar 26, 2021 - 7:07 AM   
 By:   Solium   (Member)

What did the turkey say at the dinner table?

"I'm already stuffed."

 
 Posted:   Apr 1, 2021 - 10:06 AM   
 By:   Mark R. Y.   (Member)

I was in the grocery store the other day buying a few items. A carton of milk, a box of cereal, a bag of frozen berries, not much more.
I get to the long check-out line and there was this elderly lady in front of me who, when she noticed me, kept looking back and practically staring at me with astonishment.
She saw that I saw her doing that, then she blushed and said, "I'm so sorry for staring at you like this, but, and I didn't mean to startle you, but you look so much like my late son. He would have been about your age and you truly look like how he would have if he was still alive." Tears welled up in her eyes.
I told her my condolences and said it was all right.
Shyly, she then asked if she could call me "son" as we chatted while waiting for our turns at the check-out counter. I said I'd be honored and, for that brief couple of minutes or so, I allowed her to have her little poignant fantasy that she was conversing with her deceased son.
Finally it was her turn to check out. She had a sizable load of groceries, so as I waited I zoned out a bit and reflected on the sweetly odd encounter we had just had. As she pushed her cart of bags out to the door, she called back at me, "Goodbye, son!" I waved with a big smile and yelled, "Goodbye, mom!"
The clerk then bagged my items and told me the price. "That will be $158.54, sir."
I gaped at him in stunned surprise. "One hundred and....How can that be? I only have a few cheap items here!"
The grocery clerk said, "Yes, but this also includes your mother's groceries. She said you'd be paying for all of them."
"My mother???" I yiped. I took off running out the doors and saw the woman just getting into her car.
I charged over and grabbed onto her leg before she could shut the door. I kept pulling at her leg, pulling and pulling.
Just like I'm pulling yours. Happy April fool's!

 
 
 Posted:   Apr 10, 2021 - 2:05 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run.
Coz the grass tickles their balls.

 
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